Sad Ending Story (Rope Hopes for Sailor Man)

"Honey, are you ready for the bed time?," my mother pulled up my blanket, putting her legs next to mine.
She is such a warming heart, the one with charming bonus. I love my mother very much. It was very cold winter night since I remember everything was dawn before I expected and I had to run miles to catch the bus home. I was in the middle periods of my elementary school. Things were a lot more nicer back then. You have tons of friends who wouldn't even look down on you. You have fun things to do and certainly you have sweet things to chew. I was 8 years old. Habitual issue was my mother happened to set me before going to bed and had a chat with me over half of night until I fell a sleep. Just like this winter night, she's about to tell me stories. Piles of stories in her memory I reckon. In fact, listening to her stories was beyond favorite to my life.
"Yes I am ready mommy. No, actually nope. After you send me bed time prayer and you hug me while I sleep and before you have to tell me story," I grinned a little. My eyelashes were put up and down as she looked at me calmly.
"Well, once upon a time. Wait a second, what kind of story do you want? Scary? Booooo...,"she teased me as I giggled and put my head inside of my blankie.
"Noooo mother. I want a great one, the one that will remember the rest of my life,"I answered as I looked at the windows across my bed. It was actually a clear night. I barely see the snows or drizzles.
"Well, honey. This one is special. Would you promise mother before I tell you the stories?"she winked a little. Then she smiled as I saw some wrinkles on her face. She was aging. I'm the only child of the family, but I am a very happily spoiled child since my mother is number one in the whole wide universe. I think that is universal point that everybody can generally say, isn't it?
"I promise mom. I do, I will keep the story inside of my memory. Amen,"
"Honey, are you saying prayer or what? My little honey. You've grown up. Here, once upon a story, there was a very very brave sailor. He sailed to most of the lands all over the maps. He was very brave, enthusiastic, amazing, and quite handsome."
"Is he like Poppeye Mom?"I sneaked question in the middle of her story. I knew she wouldn't like that. I had no idea why I kept on doing that since I was born. Sneaking to her life, keep her emotion sort of mad but in a happy way.
"No, wait, you know the rule, don't disturb mom when I'm telling you story,"Mom was pretending to be mad at me. Ofcourse I knew that. I gave her a sweet apology and she continued her story.

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A sailorman, named  Bryan, has touched a shoreline of Everland. Every time he put his feet on the ground after a long journey of sailing, he always was the first time who was seen by most women after the ocean as the Great. He is indeed charming and quite marvelous in his look. There was no doubt that he would not find any woman who would not fall in love with him. His love life is quite melancholy and yet dramatic. He has not found the one as he expected. He thinks that this special woman does not exist and probably out of reach somewhere within border he has not sailed yet. In which, he turned out as the perfect prince whose heart is not taken yet.
Skip to the part when something was falling into him. You did not misread that part, yes it was "something" instead of "someone". Bryan had a little secret that finally I have to tell you, so the story can be finished. Anyway this handsome and demanding sailorman kept his secret, so nobody would follow. He had this rope that he tightened up to shore part, so his ship was not blown by the wind. The rope has been accompanying Bryan's journey for about 15 years. Quite long time to be together and quite amazing if you interpret this as a relationship between human. Long story short, rope is magically and eventually not a really rope. It contains magics in it and shhhh Bryan did not even know that. All he knew that the rope was his lucky charm.
One day when Bryan was off in Everland and dedicated his life to sell some resources that he got while he was sailing. The rope made its wish, the most gigantic wish that has ever known. The rope was falling in love with sailorman for all these years they were together. And what made it so tough until it was unbreakable was her love to the sailor. It was vivid to the rope if it could transform to human being. The rope actually sang a song about her hope and wish every time sailor left her tightened to the shoreline.

"Wondering, if this might lead to happy ending.
Or is this just another left out wishing.
I might be dying, I might be breaking.
If in the end, sailor comes to marry a friend."

Surprisingly after she finished up the last line of her song. She magically was transformed into a beautiful young lady. She had no idea what happened and so had Bryan, because at that moment Bryan happened to get back from the city.
"Who, whoo are you?"Bryan seemed confused. He was still conscious, though. Well, he is a sailorman.
"I'm, emm, I'm,"the rope had no idea what to do. It was pretty reluctant to her to actually convey and confess what happened. Sailorman might faint overall.
"Are you a thief?"asked Bryan and prepared to do karate on the rope.
"Nooo. Obviously no. I am Ropa. I am a woman of Everland. I swam and I had no idea where to go since my family left me behind,"explained the ropa who is now eventually and officially becoming Ropa.
"That's odd. I've never seen a woman like you before,"said Bryan as he indicated that he fell into Ropa as well.

Finally. they fell in love and they got together, until Bryan realize that he found the one. They lived happily ever not after apparently. Unfortunately a huge storm came to Everland after the change of climate that happened recently. Bryan tried to find his rope since he did not want to actually go until he married to Ropa.
Bryan and his crews might die whipped by the winds and storms if the rope was not found.
Ropa ended up wishing that she could help the man she loved. She was transformed into a rope again, an old bulky rope. Bryan wouldn't marry a rope, would he?
Ropa was gone, the rope was found. Bryan grabbed rope and tightened it up to the shoreline. Bryan was overwhelmed now looking for Ropa. Ropa was not there. The pretty women that he had delusion on has gone. It was a good atmosphere of love that turned to disaster since Bryan was looking for real woman, not a rope who would sacrifice its life accompanying mighty sailor man life for years and even decades or centuries.
In the end, the storm was cleaned out by sunshine and the lust was staying there at Bryan's heart in memorizing his perfect woman that eventually did not come to reality. Ropa or the rope broke herself little by little. She loosen up as the ship was pushed away by the wind. She was broken into pieces as she knew it was out of reach love.


........................................................................

I cried too hard. I never knew such a sad story like that. Why mother told me that kind of story? Why?
"Hannah, do you know why mom tell you a non - happy ending story?"
I shook my head. I kept on crying. Down deep inside I knew what he was going to tell me. But, I was 8 years old. I was reckless to even know what happened to my friend who was crying because she wanted lollypop while instead she wanted attention. I thought every fairy tale or tales or bed time stories are supposed to be happy ending.
 "Hannah, no story has an ending yet. Not until the reader or, in this story is the listener choose what he or she will look upon it. A new learning or a sad ending. You choose your type of ending,"she smiled, the best kind of smile that I have ever seen, followed by some tears down her right cheek.
"You are a brave woman-soon-to-be. You know what you should look at, do you? Real love will stay even after ages and ages. Rope was brave to let him go and in other hand she has to deal with herself. She was torn apart,"she kept on putting words, passages, any quotes that she found the best to represent that sad ending story. We cried together.
"Hannah, do you know who the sailor is?"my mother wiped out the tears and tried to cherish me with forced smile. I know finally I had to face it. I had to be brave enough to face it.
"Father,"I answered and I was brave to say it out loud.







*For those who love the most but still hope to get notice; 'the most immortal love is unrequited love, out of reach love'.

Broken Dementia

"Jangan, jangan pergi....," gumamku menggigil di sudut kota London, musim dingin 2012. Dia masih saja ingin beranjak. Aku menggenggam tanganya, erat, seakan - akan jatuhan salju yang ini membenamkan genggamanku saja tak mampu melepaskannya.
"Aku nggak pergi. Kalo kamu butuh aku, kamu bilang," ujarnya. Kepercayaanku diuji. Ini bukan hanya tentang ekspektasi yang digabungkan dengan sejarah. Mengingat Tara selama ini selalu berbohong, mengelabuhi aku dengan leluconnya yang menyakitkan. Entah mengapa aku selalu menganggk dan percaya. Bak perawan yang sangat lugu tak berdaya. Aku tahu. Namun, di dalam, Tara belum tahu aku seperti apa.

Semenjak saat itu Tara tak pernah kembali. Masih segar memoriku tentang malam itu. Aku tersungkur di pinggiran Toko Kue dan menangis, menggigil. Rasa tak karuan menyesaki rongga pernapasanku. Aku pingsan. Ya, begitulah. Aku memang mengidap asma karena faktor keturunan. Sedikit tekanan yang diberikan kepadaku akan berdampak pada hela napasku. Saat Tara meninggalkanku, rasanya aku ingin mencium batu nisan. Ingin meronta - ronta, memohon kepadanya untuk tetap mau dipeluk aku. Hah, percuma. Tara mana mau mengulas kembali keindahan harmonisasi album cerita kami.

"Sayang, jangan melamun. Pikniknya jadi?" ujar lelaki paruh baya mengetuk pikiranku.
"Iya, jadi. Aku nggak mau lama - lama. Dingin di luar," jawabku ketus.
Dengan lembut digandengnya tanganku. Dipapahnya aku menuju ke kehangatan sinar di balik pintu menuju beranda depan. Aku bukan orang tua, pikirku. Lelaki ini mencoba menggantikan Tara dari lipatan kenangannya di otakku. Cih, aku tak pernah mencintainya. Ikatan benang merah yang diikrarkan keluarga memang lebih manjur daripada ujaran tulus hatiku. Aku memang bukan Siti Nurbaya. Namun, ibuku bertingkah bak ibu Siti Nurbaya yang rakus, menjerumuskanku kepada perjodohan sepihak. Hidupku chaos, tidak teratur seperti rasi bintang di Bima Sakti. Kembali kesadaranku dalam genggaman lelaki yang hitam di atas putih adalah suamiku ini. Kami terduduk, bersebelahan, mengadu siku. Namun, sama sekali aku tidak berhasrat untuk mengadu mata. Keheningan kembali menyelimuti kami. Ah, bukan. Keheningan selalu menyelimuti kami. Entah rumah tangga macam apa ini. Sudah berabad - abad tak ada rasa di antara kami.

"Rosa, aku ingin bertanya satu hal,"lelaki ini berujar, membuyarkan pemandangan matahari turun yang sedang aku abadikan dengan kedua bola mataku.
"Apa?" kukembalikan pertanyaan. Nada tanyaku tinggi, seakan aku jurinya dan dia terdakwa.
"Apakah kau mencintaiku?" tanyanya kembali. Pandangannya lurus menatap matahari senja. Pertanyaan yang mungkin tidak sering aku dengar. Bukan pertanyaan klise seorang suami asing yang biasanya menanyakan bagaimana pagiku atau apakah aku ingin mentega di atas roti panggangku.
Hatiku sama sekali tak bingung untuk menjawab. Otakku pun tidak. Mulutku dapat menjawab apa adanya dan ada apanya detik itu juga. Entah mengapa ada yang mencekat di kerongkonganku. Ketika aku melihat linangan air mata jatuh di pipi sebelah kanan suami asingku ini.
"Apa kamu baik - baik saja?" ujarku datar, sok peduli atau memang peduli.

Entah, rasanya ada campuran perasaan baru yang aneh di dadaku. Detak jantungku menjadi berhamburan. Bukan jatuh hati, tetapi aku tak mampu memungkiri rasa ini. Kemudian semuanya tampak jelas, matanya yang cokelat dan berair, bersinar diterpa cahaya matahari senja. Tangannya yang masih menggenggam telapak tanganku pun terasa hangat dan menentramkan. Di jari manisnya terikat cincin kawin kami, cincin emas putih sederhana yang tampaknya tak pernah ia dengan tak setia untuk tanggalkan. Kemudian bagian terapik dari tubuh suamiku yang baru saja aku sadari. Ada lesung pipit di pipinya. Entah bersedih ataupun tertawa, tampaknya dia terlihat bersinar dengan hiasan lesung itu.

Sesaat dia memindahkan arah penglihatannya ke mataku. Dag dig dug, jantungku seperti drum yang ditabuh bersama - sama oleh seribu penabuh drum. 'Aku kenapa?', tanyaku pada diriku sendiri.
Kemudian kata - kata itu pun keluar, muncul entah dari mana sumbernya, memecah ketenangan senja itu. Senja yang asing kemudian berubah menjadi senja yang sepertinya kukenal....
"Iya Tara, aku cinta sama kamu. Maafkan aku kalau aku mencintaimu di dalam keasingan pikiranku. Aku cinta kamu dan aku mohon jaga anak - anak kita," ujarku lembut, melawan arus ingatan yang kemudian kembali keruh karena sindrom dementia.